


and your eyes say the joke's on me

by brandywine421



Series: backdate your baggage [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-01-23 00:25:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12494268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brandywine421/pseuds/brandywine421
Summary: He managed not to have a heart attack but only because he was in good shape and turned to the voice he hadn't heard outside of his nightmares in years.Not dead Oliver Queen sprawled across his sagging couch, eyes sharp in the dim light. "Why are you not dead?""Long story.""Then get the fuck out," Barry replied. "I had way too much therapy for this."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> To be safe and avoid deleting another fic for this fandom - blanket disclaimer that this is completely AU for everything ever. :D

_and you smile like a saint_  
_but you curse like a sailor_  
_and your eyes say the joke's on me._

 

 

"Dinner, Thursday, got it. No, seriously, I will not miss it, promise - " Barry spoke into his phone as he walked toward his apartment, key clutched in hand for self-defense in case someone jumped him tonight.

He'd gotten jumped three times in his first month in this apartment but tonight seemed quiet. He turned the key in his hand to put it into the lock instead of treating it like a weapon and said goodbye to Iris. She liked to call him after work to make sure he got home safe after the muggings, as if it would make a difference to the guys trying to take his phone.

He let out a sigh when he was behind the deadbolt and dropped his keys and phone into the bowl by the table. "Home sweet home."

"Why are you living in a shithole?"

He managed not to have a heart attack but only because he was in good shape and turned to the voice he hadn't heard outside of his nightmares in years.

Not dead Oliver Queen sprawled across his sagging couch, eyes sharp in the dim light. "Why are you not dead?"

"Long story."

"Then get the fuck out," Barry replied. "I had way too much therapy for this."

Oliver frowned at him, the same frown he'd worn the last time they saw each other in person when Barry told him to keep his dick in his pants and away from the Lance girls.

"Jesus Christ," Barry sighed and disengaged from the situation for the moment. "I need food for this."

He opened the fridge and stared blankly at the sparse selection of leftovers and condiments. His checking balance was too low for him to order anything for the next two days and he definitely wasn't going out again. "You want some Ramen?" he called out for Oliver. Hallucinations wouldn't answer.

They wouldn't put their hands on his shoulder and spin him around, either. "Barry. Why are you eating Ramen? Why are you dressed like a waiter and living on the wrong side of town?"

"You're dead, you don't get to ask me questions," Barry replied. He reached up and poked the dead man in the chest. Solid and corporeal. "Fuck me."

"Bear."

"Ollie. Is this because I didn't come to your funeral?" he asked.

Oliver released his grip on his shoulders and pulled him into a full body hug. "I'm sorry."

"Good," Barry breathed into his chest. "You're an asshole."

"That's not news," Oliver chuckled.

Barry closed his eyes. No, it wasn't news.

"I'm not dead. Let me buy you dinner."

"How did you get in my apartment?" Barry asked, recovering enough to push him away. Oliver wasn't a hugger and he was dead so he needed to get his head together.

"The lock was broken on the window."

"I'm on the sixth floor."

"I always liked a challenge."

He glared at him and Oliver smiled. "Seriously?"

"Look, I'm sorry for just turning up unannounced but I didn't have anywhere else to go," Oliver said.

Barry motioned to the photographs on the fridge he'd never taken down. "Thea, Laurel, your mom…"

"I can't trust anyone right now," Oliver said.

"Then you definitely can't trust me," Barry replied

Oliver caught his wrist. "I've always been able to trust you."

Barry snorted and snatched his hand back, drawing his speed from where he kept it locked away and zipping out of the kitchen into his bedroom and back in an instant so he had his tazer in hand when Oliver blinked at him. "You've been gone a long time, Ollie."

"You can't taze a ghost," Oliver replied.

Only one way to find out.

* * *

 

"I can't believe you tazed me," Oliver said, glaring at the super-secure handcuffs locking him to the wall.

"I can't believe you came back from the dead and broke into my apartment," Barry replied.

Oliver looked at him with wide eyes. "I'm not a threat to you, Barry."

Barry stirred the pot of noodles on the stove and added an extra flavor packet to dilute the extra water he'd added. "Why did you really come here, Oliver? Because your sister misses the fuck out of you, she hasn't been the same since you disappeared."

"It's complicated. Why haven't you called her yet?" Oliver asked after a beat.

"She doesn't talk to me anymore. I was the last one to believe that you were dead and I burned a lot of bridges trying to convince your friends differently."

Oliver sank down against the wall. "Shit."

Barry had a surge of guilt for chaining his not-entirely-dead friend to the wall. "Was it your fault? Like, did you fake your own death?"

"No. It's complicated," Oliver said.

"So uncomplicate it and maybe I'll give you the key," Barry said.

"It's - I'm not telling you anything when you tazed and handcuffed me."

"You broke into my house; I should be calling the cops on you."

"I'm sure Joe would love that." He hesitated. "Barry, is Joe all right? Because I can't imagine a world where he'd be okay with you living in a place like this."

Ouch. "Joe's fine. He's just one of those bridges I was talking about. He put up with me trying to get my dad out of jail, but organizing search parties for dead friends was a little more than he could shrug off."

"Oh, Barry, no," Oliver whispered.

"It's not your fault, I made my own choices. Just, don't break into my apartment, I'll give you a key if you need a place to stay," Barry relented, flashing over and unlocking his cuffs before taking his post at the stove again.

The handcuffs clanked to the floor a second later and he felt Oliver staring holes into his back.

"It's complicated," Barry answered without being asked.

Oliver moved to stand beside him at the stove. "Barry. I would love some Ramen."

* * *

 

Ramen and the unspoiled leftovers devoured, Barry let Oliver off the hook for his secrets. It only had a little to do with the bruises and new scars peeking through his threadbare clothes. He took out his phone. "You need money?"

Oliver slowly put down his plastic fork and raised an eyebrow at him. "Money."

He waved his phone. "I can cancel my biannual donation to your memorial foundation now that you're not dead."

"You'll waste money on that but not your apartment or a car?" Oliver asked. He pushed his hand down to make the couch squeak as proof.

"It's not my money," Barry muttered. "My dad died in prison so my mother's life insurance finally got unfrozen and the man that killed her left me a shit-ton of assets to deal with. Blood money."

"Wait, you found her killer? The man in yellow?" Oliver asked sharply.

Oliver had always believed him.

"I found him. I killed him. Life goes on," Barry said without dropping his gaze.

Oliver reached over and laced their fingers together. "I'm going to tell you everything."

"You trust me now that I've admitted to murder?" Barry snorted. Figured.

"My father gave me a list."

 

* * *

 

_*Buying a new couch.*_

_*Stop wasting money.*_

_*Paid cash. Cant wait to bend you over this one. <3*_

Iris appeared before he reached the steps of her porch. "Barry, hey, I'm glad you're early. Um. Because Dad's here, and Wally."

He tucked his phone away and tried not to react to her ambush. "Oh. Cool."

"I'm sorry, they tricked me into it. I would have warned you," Iris said and he believed her.

"It's fine, I'm not mad at them. At least not Wally. I still talk to Joe once a week," Barry said, returning her hug.

"But you don't visit in person, believe me, I've had an earful already. Please give Dad a hug so he'll stop pouting."

Joe did have a helluva pout but it had been over a year since he'd had to face it in person.

"Don't you start pouting. It's just dinner," Iris said. "You can handle dinner, right?"

He nodded. He could sit through it easier knowing he had a not-dead friend waiting to bend him over a new couch when he was done.

It was good to see Joe (with a little more gray) and Wally (with a little more swagger) but Iris' bright smile would have made it worth the discomfort.

He felt a little guilty for skipping Thanksgiving and Easter, but Christmas was all he could manage the last couple of years.

"Wally, can you help your sister with the dishes? I need a minute with Barry," Joe said after their meal.

Nothing like an unprompted lecture to ruin a decent 'family' night.

"What's on your mind?" Barry asked, taking out his phone to have something to do with his hands.

_*Signed for UPS. Can I open?*_

_*Opened. :D Come home soon. !!*_

"Barry, I know things haven't been right between us and I've let it go on too long. But I hope that you know that I'm sorry, I've been sorry long before this came to light..." Joe caught his attention with a folder placed on the table between them. "I hope that you'll forgive me."

"What's this?" Barry asked, flipping the cover back and scanning the text. His skin went cold with old anxiety but he pushed it down with his speed to keep steady. "Oh, you got a DNA match from my Mom's crime scene?"

"They posthumously pardoned your father, they found evidence..."

Barry closed the folder without looking further. "Cool. I knew he didn't do it, I'm glad they figured it out."

Joe stared at him. "That's it?"

He shrugged. "I can't worry about that stuff now. Dad's gone so it doesn't matter who believed him."

"I should have believed *you*," Joe said, lowering his gaze.

"Joe," Barry sighed. "Eyewitness testimony is unreliable, I have a degree in criminal justice, I know the stats. You always supported me even when you didn't believe me."

"If that were true, I wouldn't have to con Iris into getting a sit down with you," Joe replied.

"You burned me for all law enforcement jobs in the state, Joe. That's why it's always going to be weird between us."

"I fixed that, I told you - the lab director's left you messages - "

Barry held up his hand. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. Just don't make your issues with my career trajectory be about my father's case. His case was closed when we put him in the ground and that was long before you decided to blacklist me."

Joe sighed. "Bear."

"Fist bump and drop the subject. Let's not ruin dinner or Iris will make me wait forever for chicken parm again," Barry said, raising his fist. Joe reluctantly tapped knuckles.

_*These arrows have tricks. Come home soon plz. More fun than whatever you are doing right now.*_

"Do you need to check in?" Joe asked, nodding at the buzzing phone.

Barry took advantage of the option. _*Anything is more fun than what i'm doing right now. Be home in a flash.*_  


* * *

   
"God, can't you - be still - you're - fuck - " Oliver licked words into his collarbone, pinning him against the bed and straddling his thighs.

Barry phased free of his grasp so he could touch - wrapping his fingers around Oliver's length and catching his bottom lip in his teeth for a taste.

"Remind me why I gave this up?" Oliver gasped, thrusting into his fist as he stopped trying to trap him and worked on slicking him open.

"Different strokes for different folks, I think were your words," Barry laughed into his tattoo. "Plus you were balls-deep in Laurel's sister when I got there."

"My bad," Oliver grunted, spreading his thighs and tugging him into position.

"I wasn't fucking you for your brains; you were always too pretty for a geek like me." He hissed at the stretch, arching his back and baring his throat for Oliver's mouth.

"Liar."

 

* * *

 

 

They rented a couple of shithole apartments in Starling and got a routine going once the initial research was done on Oliver's list. Uniforms and masks, trick arrows and lightning bolts, fake IDs and wedding rings.

The plunk of an arrow hitting an eye didn't stagger his steps and the hiss of burning flesh didn't offset Oliver's aim and they fucked out their guilt and penance between visits.

Barry went to weekly dinners with Iris and made shitty tips at his shitty job. Oliver sharpened knives and plotted rising from the dead.

Once the List was finished, Barry knew Oliver would go back to his life but until then, he was going to enjoy living with his ghost.  
  


* * *

 

"Allen? Barry Allen? Shit, hey, man, how the hell have you been?"

Oliver snickered in his ear but it wasn't like he was the one face to face with Tommy Merlyn.

"Tommy, right? Good to see you," Barry said, accepting the one armed hug from Oliver's oldest friend.

"What are you doing in Starling? Heard about your Dad, that shit's crazy after all this time," Tommy said.

Right. "Yeah, definitely. How are you? Congrats on the new sister," Barry added just to make it uncomfortable for him, too.

"Burn," Oliver said in his ear.

"Yeah, well, I think both of us needed someone to fill up the Ollie-shaped space," Tommy said.

"Well, tell her I said hello when you see her. I'm late for an appointment, but take care," Barry tried to disengage but Tommy moved in front of him.

"I think she tried to call you a few times, can I get your number before you go? Laurel, hey - look who it is!" He called past Barry down the street.

"You want me to make a distraction?" Oliver asked over the comm. He shook his head. He could handle this. He wasn't the dead one out of the pair.

"Barry," Laurel said in a bright voice, almost like she was glad to see him. She hugged like it, too. "How are you? I'm so sorry about your Dad…"

"Is there something about your dad I should know?" Oliver questioned.

"No worries, it's old news now," He replied.

She frowned. "It's really not, all those years of no one believing you - seriously, I'm so sorry. Hell, next thing we know Oliver's going to turn up alive and we'll all be eating crow. Thea's been trying to call you."

"No offense, but why?" Barry asked, Oliver's silence in his ear too loud.

Laurel and Tommy both shifted, suddenly nervous. "Um. Because she noticed you cancelled your donation to the Queen Memorial Fund," he answered finally.

"Yeah, needed the cash more than I needed the tax deduction this season," Barry replied.

"Ten thousand, yeah, I can see that," Laurel muttered.

"So Thea's all about the money, now, too, good to see that Merlyn trait taking hold," Oliver said dryly.

His watch beeped so tonight's mission was still on schedule if he could get out of this situation.

"It's not just about the money, she feels shitty for whatever happened between you guys, too," Laurel cut in when she realized what she'd said.

"Oh, yeah, absolutely. She misses you," Tommy added.

"I'll make a note of it," Barry said with a fake smile. "I really do need to go but wow, you guys look great, take care, okay?" His watch beeped again and he hurried in the opposite direction without using his speed.

Oliver dropped into step with him when he was out of their sight. "You okay?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Barry countered, bumping shoulders with him. Oliver caught his hand and tethered them together.

"Thea wants to be a Merlyn, nothing I can change about that now. She'll hate me as much as Malcolm does when I come back," Oliver replied.

"You say that like it doesn't matter but we both know it does," Barry replied.

"You'll still be with me," Oliver said, squeezing his hand. "So I can handle it. We can handle it."

Huh.

"Don't think you're getting rid of me that easily, Bear," Oliver said, pecking him on the lips and pulling up his hoodie. "Let's go to work."  


* * *

 

"You're quiet. Seeing Tommy and Laurel really messed with your head, didn't it?"

Ollie knew he was more likely to answer honestly when he was sated and fucked-out and he flipped him off without rolling over to face him

He made it a few long moments before he broke. "How can you not care?"

"I care. But I know there's nothing I can do for them when I'm dead," Oliver replied, breath hot against his ear as he took big spoon position. "I won't judge them for their choices while I'm dead and they'll never find out about mine. Tommy will look out for Thea just like he looks after Laurel."

"Sara?" Barry asked quietly. Oliver had never told him what happened to the other Lance sister.

Oliver kissed along his hairline. "Sara will turn up when she's ready. She doesn't have you so it'll probably take her a bit longer."

Barry hummed. At least she was alive. "I guess all vigilantes need a bankroller."

"Shut up. You're more than that and you know it. There's nobody else I would trust - "

He tilted his head and kissed the rest of his protest away. "Sorry, I forget sometimes."

"Well don't. Don't forget. The only reason going home is even an option is because you're on my side. I - if I hadn't broken into your apartment, I'd be doing the List on my own without an exit strategy. I wouldn't care about anything if I hadn't found you."

Barry wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing considering what they did in Starling.

"We're not the same people we were five years ago. I'm not letting this go as long as you keep letting me have it," Oliver added with a smirk and a kiss.  


* * *

 

"So when are you going to tell me about your new friend?"

Barry looked up from his bare plate at Iris. "Sorry?"

She motioned to her collar. "Whoever's giving you love bites, hopefully they're a friend."

"Maybe. We're figuring it out, I think," Barry replied.

"Good. Let me help. Name, date of birth, social security number - totally normal things that I need for a full background check," Iris tallied up.

"No thank you," he laughed. "How about I just promise you that I made him work for it?"

She grinned. "Not good enough, but it's a start. Is he hot?"

"Yeah. Way out of my league but I'm giving it a go," Barry replied. "And that's the end of that conversation."

"No way, I need details, Barry," Iris insisted. "Scoop."

He tapped the table. "Sorry, we have a deal. No details until we're sure it's serious and I'm not sure yet."

Iris sighed. "I was hoping for a different answer."

He reached across the table and took her hand, turning it so the diamond engagement ring flashed in the light. "Not everyone gets a happy ending, Iris. Take yours and let me keep hunting for mine."

"Loser," she laughed but gratefully dropped the subject.

Barry was an orphan, estranged from his foster family and in a relationship destined for heartbreak or jail (probably both) but he had the best sister in the world.  


* * *

 

"You got everything?" Oliver asked for the sixth time.

"Do you want to run the checklist again, because I'll be finished before you get to the second page," Barry replied, but he waited patiently for Oliver to run his gloved hand over each parcel of evidence.

"This is the end of the List," Oliver said, taking the worn notebook and holding it out for him. Barry tucked it into his back pocket and accepted Oliver's kiss for luck before zipping out of their Starling apartment.

Barry wasn't a CSI, but he had his Masters in Forensic Science and had trained to secure and test evidence to convict criminals. It seemed a fair trade to use it to plant evidence for the same outcome.

He made his rounds, ticking off the checklist with well-placed evidence. Arrows with trace DNA of their marks in Malcolm Merlyn's private offices. Photos of Starling's vigilante wearing Merlyn's face in a locked file cabinet. Paper trails leading to the dead men. Blood and chemical residue inside the pockets of his jackets.

"Don't forget the last stop. It's the most important," Oliver said after he'd announced his final checkbox.

"Are you sure?" Barry asked, taking the notebook out of his pocket and flipping through it with gloved fingers.

"Positive. My father's soul can rest and I can have what's left of my life back," Oliver answered in his ear.

He let the lightning carry him to Moira Queen's mansion and left the final batch of incrimination in her office.

Oliver made the call to the cops while Barry stripped out of his incognito uniform and stuffed it into the garbage bag meant for the fire.

"Last night in this shithole, want to see if we can break the bed?" Barry asked when he rejoined him in the main room.

Oliver raised an eyebrow. "It's a futon."

"Semantics," Barry shrugged. Oliver tackled him with a grin.  


* * *

 

"Oh my God, Barry, did you see the news?"

"Double shift, I haven't seen anything but my bed since I got home," Barry mumbled into the phone before checking the display. "Iris? What time is it?"

"It's - look, can I come over? I want to tell you in person, don't even turn on the TV, just, go back to sleep until I get there."

Too late. "Band aid it for me, Iris. What's going on?"

It was three weeks after the List, two weeks after Oliver disappeared *again* and one week after he'd gone full time at the restaurant again. Why did he need sleep anyway?

"Oliver Queen's alive, Bear. Just like you always said."

He laughed into his pillow. "Fuck off."

"I wouldn't lie about this. They just broke into Family Feud with the story."

"Why are you watching Family Feud? News that slow in Central today?" he snickered. But at least he knew Oliver was following through on getting his life back even if he never shared the plan with Barry.

"Stop it. Are you going to call Thea? I mean, with her mom and bio dad both getting arrested last week and now this, maybe she could use a friend?"

Barry rolled over onto his back. "Maybe you should call, get a shiny scoop for the paper. I'm done with all that."

"You don't mean that. You never mean that," Iris scolded. He faked a yawn and earned a sigh in response. "Just call me when you're awake and we can have a real conversation."

"Sure, sure," he said, swiping to end the call. A new set of messages flashed in his texts from an unlisted number and he let his curiosity win out over sleep.

_*Need your advice. What do you think about this couch?*_

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Oliver POV. For protein. I mean, fluff.

"So, do you remember Barry? From college?" Laurel asked, on her third drink.

Thea was only on her first but Oliver still couldn't process she was old enough to drink, let alone had a diamond ring on the finger single guys were supposed to check first.

"Of course," he answered when the booth went silent. "No offense to you, or Sara. Or Tommy," he winked at his friend who flipped him off. "But Barry's the 'one that got away' for me."

"Ouch," Thea hissed. "Damn. Listen, Ollie. He never stopped looking for you. He never believed you were dead, hell, he didn't even come to your funeral."

Oliver remembered him apologizing for that but couldn't say it. His months with Barry had to stay missing like his five years away.

Thea squared her shoulders. "I was a bitch to him but he was around a lot for the first couple of years. Then he moved back to Central City and I, sort of, severed ties and stopped taking his calls."

"Huh," Oliver shrugged. Barry wasn't currently taking *his* calls which was a bigger problem than Thea's misplaced guilt.

"We saw him a few weeks ago," Tommy said. "We don't have a current number for him, but he looked good."

"And it was here in Starling so maybe he'll see the news coverage and get in touch," Laurel offered.

Thea leaned against him and he put an arm around her for support. "I'll find Barry for you, we both need to apologize to him. I'm so glad you're home."

"I'm sorry I missed watching you grow up," Oliver said as she leaned her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry I missed this much."

"As long as you're here now, I forgive you," Thea sighed.

 

* * *

 

Oliver scanned his phone with a frown. No new messages or missed calls.

_"Waiting on an important callback?"_

He huffed at Barry's voice and reached out to catch his wrist and spin him around when he tried to speed past him. "Tag," he said, pulling him close. He pushed the stupid ball cap out of the way to see his face. "Is your phone broken?"

"Between work and people blowing up my phone with news of your return from the dead, I just switched it off. Your sister needs to back the fuck off," Barry replied, searching his face before leaning in for a kiss.

He kept the kiss going until they were both out of breath. He missed him. "She wants to apologize. Do I need to apologize?"

"Depends, I guess. Where are you staying?" Barry asked.

"My sister's place, for now," Oliver answered.

"Good thing I rented a hotel room for the weekend. The water pressure's pretty amazing - "

Oliver didn't give a shit about water pressure right now and leaned in for another kiss as Barry flashed them both off the street. "Later. I want to check out the bed first."

 

* * *

 

"I see why you turned your phone off," Oliver groaned when another chirp from his discarded jeans broke his concentration.

"Or at least silenced it, come on, Ollie. Do you have a curfew?"

"Shut up," Oliver said but it was too late and Barry zipped across the room to get the phone and left him holding fistfuls of sheets instead of Barry's legs. "I hate when you do that."

Barry dropped the phone on the bed and nudged him to lie down, nuzzling a stripe up his thigh. "Check your messages, I'll entertain myself."

He pushed his fingers through Barry's damp hair and tilted his face to look up at him. "Hey. When it's me and you, it's * **me and you** *, okay? I know we haven't talked about it but - " The phone chirped again. He grabbed it, annoyed and immediately regretted it, smearing lube across the screen.

Barry buckled into a full-body laugh at his expression and buried his face in the sheets.

He dialed Thea as Barry recovered himself. "Hey, I'm fine."

_"Where are you? It's late and you didn't answer my texts."_

"I'm with a friend, I'll be home tomorrow," Oliver said, not bothering to turn the speaker down.

_"You're banging some groupie, aren't you? Come on, Ollie, you said Barry was the one that got away and I'm trying to track him down - are you sure you want to be slutting it up when he turns up?"_

"Aw," Barry whispered, smiling and tracing a heart on his knee.

"I can't talk to you right now, Thea, but I'll be home tomorrow. After breakfast," Oliver added, switching the phone off and tossing it across the room where it belonged.

"I'm always going to answer the phone when my sister calls, Ollie, even when I'm on a date." He paused. "I'm the one that got away?" Barry teased.

"You're the only one I want," Oliver said, needing Barry to believe him. "I don't want you to be the one that got away. I want you to be the one that I got for good."

"Aw," Barry smiled, drawing another heart on his knee until Oliver manhandled him up for a deep kiss.

"I mean it."

Barry laughed against his lips. "I believe you mean it _right now_."

Oliver pulled back.

"I'm a hot mess, Ollie, we both are. We killed thirty seven people and probably put your mom and your sister's dad behind bars for life. Plus, we both have five years of shitty life decisions on our tab before that."

"Barry - "

"But right now, since you're clingy as hell and I'm out of my goddamn mind - right now, we've got each other," Barry finished.

Oliver slid one hand behind his neck, tilting him in to catch his mouth and wrapping his fingers around Barry's length with the other. "I'm going to make sure right now turns into forever."

He knew it was cheesy as fuck, but he meant every word. He was going to make this work.

 

* * *

 

"Have lunch with me," Oliver said, watching Barry at the far edge of the bed.

Barry glanced up from his heaping plate of continental breakfast. "What?"

"I want you to come back to the apartment, see my place. Make nice with my sister, or don't, but I want you to hang out with me while you're here. In and out of bed," he added.

Barry smiled in slight disbelief.

"I won't live with her forever," Oliver continued. "I have to get with my lawyers, figure out how much cash I have to play with and get back on my feet."

"You still have the money we used for the List," Barry reminded.

He rolled his eyes. "That's yours. It's not meant for just me."

Barry nodded absently, poking at a slice of cooling toast. "Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Maybe we could do something else with it. Something good."

Oliver slipped his fingers into Barry's belt loops, scooting him backwards to sit beside him. "Something where you get to run around while I shoot at things?"

"Without the blood and killing part. Maybe," Barry shrugged. "I'd like to stop getting mugged when I'm just trying to go home."

"I still don't get why you let yourself get mugged when you could take them down," Oliver scolded. "And you have that tazer."

"I'm a runner, not a boxer," Barry replied. "And I don't want anybody in Central to ever see me run."

Oliver filed that away to question later.

 

* * *

 

"If we're doing the all-cards-out thing, I should probably warn you that the last time Thea saw me, things were strained," Barry sighed.

Oliver raised an eyebrow. "Like?"

"She spat in my face and told me that I should find another rich guy's dick to suck," Barry said evenly.

"Oh." That was a little harsher than Oliver expected.

"Yeah. It's water under the bridge now, especially since you're not dead and she knows I wasn't after your money," Barry shrugged. "She was having a rough go of it."

"Must have been really rough to say shit like that," Oliver murmured.

Barry took his hand. "That's not my story to tell, it's hers. We all do things we regret when we're hurting. But if she spits at me again, all forgiveness deals are off."

Oliver wondered if he should wait until he talked to Thea more before attempting the meet and greet.

"Have you met Roy?" Barry asked when the reached his building.

"Who?"

Barry huffed out an anxious laugh. "You seriously have to find your own place."

A bulky kid glanced over and his face lit up in surprise. "Allen. Who found you?"

"I did," Oliver frowned. "Who the hell are you?"

"That's Roy," Barry said unhelpfully.

"Yeah," 'Roy' replied. "We haven't met yet because I've been in Central City trying to find that asshole. Your apartment's in, like, the only shitty part of Central," he said to Barry as they shook hands.

"He's a friend of your sister's," Barry explained. "Be very nice to him."

Oliver had been too distracted. "You're responsible for that diamond on her hand?"

Roy flushed, raising a hand to the back of his neck nervously. "Um."

"Congratulations," Barry said, squeezing Oliver's hand. "Glad you finally got the balls."

Roy snorted. "I asked Mr. Merlyn for permission and he said no. Fuck that guy."

"See? You already have stuff in common," Barry elbowed him.

Roy turned his full attention to Barry. "Look, it's been a really bumpy few weeks for Thea and I know she fucked you over but can I preemptively apologize for her and ask you to take it easy on her?"

"I'm here to hang out with Oliver, as long as she stays in her lane and doesn't spit at me, everything's cool. I have a very swanky hotel room but Ollie asked me to come to lunch," Barry replied.

"No spitting. If I have to be nice to the punk sleeping with her, then she has to be nice to you," Oliver said with a suspicious glare at Roy.

"Then that's settled and we can go upstairs and get this out of the way," Barry said.

"It's good to see you, Barry. Hopefully I'll be able to say the same about Thea's brother later," Roy added.

 

* * *

 

Oliver realized how much he'd missed when he saw Barry, Thea and Roy interact. They were friends, or had been, and he hadn't been around to see it happen.

Barry seemed comfortable enough now after the inital meeting. He was lax under Oliver's arm curled against his side.

Thea and Roy weren't as relaxed across from them and his sister looked pointedly nervous.

"You okay, Thea?" Oliver asked.

"In the spirit of filling in the blanks while you were dead, I should probably tell you about some things. Like, Roy's my boyfriend and sometimes fiancé," Thea blurted out. "We met doing community service because I have a juvenile record for drugs."

Oliver must have flinched considering Barry started strumming his fingertips across his wrist to settle him.

"I've been clean two years, last night was ginger ale," Thea continued. "I've been overseeing your memorial fund and sitting on the boards at Queen Consolidated and Merlyn Global Group for over a year..."

"I don't care about the business, Thea," Oliver cut her off. "I care about you."

Thea closed her mouth with a snap.

"You're not going to try and take over QC?" Roy asked quietly.

"Dad wanted you to run the company," Thea whispered.

Oliver had fulfilled his father's deathbed request by killing a bunch of people. "I honestly have no interest in the company. I figured with Mom locked up that it would just...dissolve."

Thea shuddered. "Oh."

Barry pinched him and Oliver glared at him.

"But if it's important to you, just let me know how to help," Oliver edited. "I have no real time experience running the company so I don't know how much help I'll be..."

Roy leaned over and kissed Thea on the cheek. "See, babe? You were all stressed out over nothing."

"You won't get upset if we merge with Merlyn Global? Because Tommy and I think we can save both companies if we consolidate..." Thea said.

"I don't know how that would affect me, so no, I wouldn't get upset," Oliver said. He'd be taking a closer look at the business links later but it seemed like the right answer considering Thea's relieved expression.

"Did you ever take those business classes before you graduated?" Barry asked him.

"I took a few," Oliver protested. "I don't know if I passed any, but I totally enrolled."

It was a lie and Barry knew it but Thea's soft laugh meant they passed the test for now. He could pretend to be shitty at business if it made him look like a better brother.

 

* * *

 

"You're going to have your hands full around here," Barry said, zipping up his hoodie and shrugging his backpack on one shoulder.

"So I'll need you to answer your phone and talk through it with me," Oliver said. He tugged on his collar string and pulled him in for a kiss. "Next weekend?"

"Maybe. If I don't make the news, definitely," Barry replied. "But it's a little soon for you to have a boyfriend, isn't it?"

"Not if it's you, it'll be romantic," Oliver said. "If you don't want to come back, then I'll come to you. We have plans to make, don't we?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Fine, yes."

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

 

 

“You sure you’re up for this?” Oliver asked, checking himself in the hotel mirror.

“Don’t ask questions you already know the answers to, it’s counterproductive,” Barry called from the bathroom. For someone with superspeed, punctuality was still an issue.

He didn’t want to put any extra pressure on Barry but he hoped he knew what to expect from their first public outing together after Oliver’s resurrection.

There was a huff of frustration from the bathroom a moment before Barry stepped out, tugging on his tie. “I am not a child, I totally know how to knot a tie,” he said.

Oliver looped the silk tie around his wrist and tugged him over for a kiss, sliding the fabric from his collar. “You don’t need a tie.”

“I don’t want you to look like you’re slumming it,” Barry sighed against his mouth. Oliver trailed his fingers down Barry’s spine to rest on his hips and hold him in place.

“Fuck what it looks like to anyone else. You’re the only one I care about.”

“Then why did you sign me up for a photo op?” Barry hummed.

He cupped his cheek, appreciating the recent shave. “Because I want everyone to see that I mean it. One day, you’re going to introduce me to Iris in person and I need proof that I’m not leading you on. Not this time,” he added to acknowledge that he’d definitely done it in the past.

“I should probably disclaim that she’s never going to like you,” Barry laughed.

“Fair enough,” Oliver conceded. “But I’m not hiding you this time around. I’m going to get it right.”

Barry chuckled softly, taking his hands and kissing his knuckles. “And I’m going to humor you to get free fancy dinners.”

Oliver wondered if he should keep trying to prove it to Barry before he started trying to prove it to everyone else.

“Do I look presentable, Mr. Queen?” Barry asked, pirouetting for drama.

“We’re going to be late,” he admitted. “Those slacks make your ass look great so I’m going to have to insist on a wardrobe change.”

 

* * *

 

“He brought you, thank fuck. I am not looking forward to this,” Roy said, visibly relieved when Oliver and Barry climbed into the back of the limo.

Barry gave him a friendly fist-bump and tried to shake off his nerves.

“You put a ring on Thea’s finger so public appearances were always going to be a part of the gig,” Barry pointed out.

Roy straightened his collar primly. "I own this suit, thank you very much. But I'm never going to be good at schmoozing with rich assholes. No offense, Oliver."

Ollie shrugged. "I'd be concerned if you actually enjoyed the schmoozing."

"It's a big deal to Thea but every time I wear this suit earns me a night of hot wings and football at the bar," Roy said.

"Sounds like a solid deal," Barry agreed, glancing at Oliver thoughtfully. "I wish I had thought of it."

"You hate football and we had hot wings last night," he said.

Roy laughed. "Sounds like you've got it worked out." He focused his full attention on Barry. "You know you're welcome to come over to his place instead of a hotel. Thea's worried there's still bad feelings between you guys."

Oh. Barry felt blindsided but knew he shouldn't.

"He knows he's welcome," Oliver said sharply.

Barry patted his knee to keep him from starting a fight nobody wanted. "Probably TMI but, I've been told I can be a little...vocal. No matter how long we've known each other - running into Thea after a night of loud sex is going to be humiliating so I'm always going to have a hotel room when I come to Starling."

"Not always. I'll get a place eventually," Oliver muttered.

"You could still share the hot wings before you take him back to the hotel," Roy countered.

The limo slowed to a stop and Barry slid closer to Oliver to make space for Laurel, Thea and Tommy to climb in.

Oliver put his arm around his shoulder and splayed his hand over his chest, playfully teasing his nipple through the fabric. Barry turned his head to nuzzle his throat.

"Already with the PDA, guys?" Thea cut in.

"Okay, guys, you proved your point," Roy spoke over their laughter.

 

* * *

 

Oliver's fucking proud of his little sister and her unflappable speech had won over the entire room of investors before Tommy took his turn. He'd promised her one hour and twenty five minutes of mingling before he could escape with Barry back to the hotel.

"Shit," Barry hissed under his breath, and Oliver followed his gaze to an older man approaching in a rumpled suit that looked a better fit for a classroom than ballroom. "You've never seen me run," he whispered when he saw Oliver noticed his twitch.

"Barry - what a surprise seeing you here, how are you?" the man asked, embracing him like a friend. He tried to parse out their connection to each other and why the hell Barry's speed would be involved.

"Hey, Dr. Stein, it's good to see you. I'm here as Oliver's moral support," Barry said.

The man nodded, fond as he shook Oliver's hand in greeting. "Ah, yes, I should have known you weren't here for business reasons."

"Definitely not," Barry hesitated. "Are you here for business reasons?"

Oliver had no idea where this conversation was headed.

"STAR Labs has done work with Queen Consolidated and Merlyn Global and we're very excited about their new partnership. I think I got all the talking points with that, I left my notes in the car," Dr. Stein said, distracted. "Caitlin and Ronnie are around somewhere, they're in charge of the diplomacy. Cisco and I were instructed to only speak when directly addressed."

"You're doing fine," Oliver said politely. He hated being out of the loop - especially when he didn't know there were loops.

"How's your health?" Dr. Stein asked and Barry ignored Oliver's sharp glare.

"Fine, haven't had any signs of the weird thing coming back," Barry replied.

Dr. Stein latched on despite Barry's discomfort. "And your metabolism and heart rate - have you been visiting the doctor regularly like Caitlin advised?"

"I'm fine, completely back to normal," Barry said.

Oliver needed to be in this loop but he needed this stranger out of it first. "He drinks way too much coffee and he's a lightweight when it comes to champagne so he's back to *baseline* Barry."

His bullshit answer seemed to work and the doctor smiled brightly. "That's so good to hear. Maybe you can convince him to turn up to some of the shareholder meetings so the rest of us can spend more time in the lab. Excuse me, I don't want to lose track of my wife again," Dr. Stein said, hurrying after a crowd of women in search of his keeper.

Oliver leaned in to kiss his cheek to reassure him before he murmured, "We'll talk about shareholding later, but you should probably talk about the health part now."

"It's all tied up together," Barry sighed. "You know about the particle accelerator disaster?" Oliver nodded. "Yeah, that was STAR labs and the explosion, well, it put me in a coma for a few weeks."

"Weeks?" _Coma_?

"Six months, give or take. Joe signed me over to STAR Labs to recover when the hospital gave up. The guy in charge was - "

"The man in yellow. The one that left you the money you don't spend," Oliver realized.

"Blood money," Barry frowned. "But the guys that worked for him, they didn't know what he was all about. I could have sold off STAR Labs but - their work is important. The explosion gave a lot of people unpredictable powers and I just couldn't sell the lab off to the government or some random research company when there's so much potential to twist it into something worse."

As much as Barry tried to cut himself off from his family and his past, he hadn't fully walked away from anything. He kept in constant touch with Iris, donated to Thea's memorial fund and continued to hold the keys to his mother's murderer's science lab. Oliver thumped him hard in the side.

"I'm sorry for not telling you," Barry winced. "Nobody in Starling knows about the coma or STAR Labs stuff."

"I didn't thump you for that. Not all of it. But you have to give me a little more intel if I'm playing backup for you," Oliver said, lacing their fingers together so he can tangibly make his point. "All in, Bear."

"Dr. Stein and his team, they know about my speed but they think I lost it when shit went down. Only one of them knows the details, just that there are no more speedsters," Barry said, leaning into his side.

"Then that's all they ever need to know," Oliver conceded. But he'd definitely be learning more about those details.

Barry seemed steadier but held tight to his hand as he motioned to the group of mingling moguls and elite. "You're getting your life back after your little detour of drama. Maybe it's time I start thinking about what I'm going to do about mine."

"If that includes moving out of your crappy apartment, I'm 100% supportive."

 

* * *

 

"Okay, so everyone I'm here with is totally shocked and surprised to see you in Starling," Cisco said, joining him by the thoroughly picked-over snack table.

"But you aren't? It's good to see you, man," Barry returned his greeting hug. He like Cisco, it wasn't the guy's fault that Barry couldn't step foot in STAR Labs without having a panic attack.

"Had some metahuman activity on the radar out here a few weeks back. I recalibrated the sensors to fix the obvious glitch," Cisco added.

"Oh. No follow up?" he hesitated. Shit.

Cisco waved him off. "We have much bigger things on our plate right now, dude. I mean, I'm dying to pick your brain and check your stats but - but you look good, man. Happy."

"Thanks. It's a work in progress," Barry admitted. "And everything's good with the Lab, right?"

"Right. We've successfully resolved all world-ending emergencies without leaking any secrets," Cisco nodded with a bright smile.

Barry laughed. "Great, knew you guys could handle it."

"Yeah," Cisco said, with a fainter smile. "It would be easier if we had you around. Your brain is just as useful as your speed."

Oliver appeared with impeccable timing and attached himself to Barry's side. "Ready to go? Got a cab waiting."

Barry nodded and turned to Cisco. "Hey, this is Oliver. We're doing the long distance thing but maybe, when we make some permanent decisions, I'll drop into the lab more often."

Cisco's face lit up. "Then it's definitely great to meet you, Mr. Queen."

"I ping his sensors when I visit you here," Barry told Oliver who nodded with dark understanding. He was not looking forward to the interrogation surely to follow tonight.

"No worries, I'm watching your back. We've got contacts here for 'business' reasons so luckily I can give you some names if you need off-the grid coverage. Starling's got a lot of traps that Central doesn't. If you get mixed up in ARGUS or mysticism, well, you'll need local backup. But being a rich guy's boy-toy is a valid life choice that I fully support, too," Cisco added.

Barry didn't know what all that meant but Oliver nodded and offered a fist bump of solidarity. "Good. I'll take those names for him in case my boy-toy gets twitchy. You get pings?"

"They monitor metahuman activity," Barry said under his breath.

"That's useful," Oliver hummed. "Anybody else get them? Like ARGUS?"

"We don't work with them, we block all their calls - but there has been overlap when we have to clean up each other's messes. They're not welcome in Central City as long as we can keep the metahuman problem contained," Cisco said. "You're more than just a rich guy, I guess."

"Invite him over when you find your new apartment to vet the security. I don't like the idea that you can be tracked that easily," Oliver said. "Cab's waiting."

"Right. Wait. Do I need to know about this ARGUS stuff?" Barry asked.

"Obviously not if your boyfriend doesn't need to know about the STAR lab stuff," Cisco said. "We should hang out, somewhere less fancy next time."

"Later," Oliver urged in his ear, guiding Barry out of the ballroom to the idling taxi. "Backdated baggage is biting both of us on the ass tonight."

"All in," Barry repeated to himself.

"Now you're getting it," Oliver laughed.

 

* * *

 

"Are you guys going into business together or something?" Iris asked over the speakerphone.

"Nah, mainly we're just hanging out and having a lot of sex," he answered honestly. The shower was still running so he figured he was safe for the moment.

She huffed out a laugh but he's due for a shaming. "But he took you out in public which is more than the old Oliver ever did. Acknowledged you and everything."

"Weird, right?"

"Dad certainly thinks so. I'm assuming he's your plus-one for my wedding?"

Ouch. "Yeah, let's assume that's a yes," he said.

"Great! Bring him to dinner before that so Dad won't make a scene questioning him at the wedding."

"I'll think about it. Look, I have to go but I'll be back in town by Monday. I'm apartment hunting - "

"Thank God," Iris muttered. "I'll get my realtor friend to get you some more respectable choices than your current place."

"You don't have to - "

"Love you, Bear, Bye!"

Oliver chuckled from the bathroom. "So dinner with the folks sooner rather than later?"

"Seems so. I guess we're really doing this."

"Stop being surprised," he said sharply.

Barry zipped over to him, biting the pout off his lips. "Iris and Joe aren't in the same category as shady government affiliations. The Wests are in a whole different category of relationship angst," he added.

Oliver slid his arms around him, sighing into his neck. "Joe West scares the hell out of me, Bear, believe me - I get the importance of a good impression."

"All they know about you is that I had an irrational crush on you for most of undergrad, and then an irrational obsession with your disappearance - and - " he said, tapping Oliver's chin to meet his gaze. "And that I'm happy for the first time in years. They tiptoe around me these days so they'll be nice to you by default."

"I'll be on my best behavior, but you have to stop acting like this is a short term thing. We have a deal, remember?" Oliver asked.

"Yeah." They'd sealed the deal after their mutual confessions the night before. Barry's world-fucking ability to twist time and Oliver's history of murder for hire; or whatever - it was shared baggage. They'd both had chances to bail out before right now. "And we have plans to make."

They weren't getting married any time soon, but Cisco's emailed contact list had sparked renewed discussion of using their darker skills for something good. They couldn't work out of hotels. They would share apartment and 'equipment' expenses under a shared goal. All-in.

"Spare room, full exercise set up, don't forget," Oliver said. "Tell your sister."

"As long as I get my lab with decon vents and radiation shields," Barry laughed.

 

* * *

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

 

Roy turned up alone to visit Barry and Oliver's new Starling apartment. They owned the whole building and most of the block, but nobody needed to know that.

He could tell after the initial tour that something was bothering his new-again friend. Roy barely blinked at the gym equipment and even if he wasn't distracted by Oliver's abs, he should have cared about the weights.

"What's on your mind, Roy?" Barry asked, offering him a beer to loosen him up.

"Is it that obvious?" Barry raised an eyebrow and was proud that it had the intended effect. "There's this guy hassling me. He doesn't get that I'm out of work on purpose," Roy sighed.

Barry knew Roy used to be a semi-professional thief, but desperate people did desperate things. "He see you on TV?"

Roy shrugged. "I guess he thinks my ties to Thea gives him blackmail rights - but she knows I'm out of that business."

But the media would run with a story like that without needing proof.

"You got a name?" Barry asked, swiping his finger across his new tablet. Perks of accepting Oliver's apartment arrangement.

Roy blinked at him. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Give him a name and you won't have to worry about it," Oliver chimed in as he stepped into the room. "Obviously it can't be resolved with money or you would have paid him off already."

"He's good at what he does, or what he used to do. It's understandable that the bad guy wants him for his skills," Barry hummed, tilting his cheek for a well-practiced kiss as Oliver sat down.

Oliver appraised Roy with a slow gaze. "And what kind of skills would they be?"

"He can find ways in and out of places that nobody else can. Stealing is always wrong, but he was good at it when he kept his head clear," Barry said.

"You guys are weirding me out, Barry - I don't want you getting mixed up in my shit, it's - "

"Does Thea know about it yet?" Oliver asked sharply.

Roy blanched. "No, not this. She knows what I used to do but she doesn't know this guy's back - "

"Still waiting on that name," Barry cut in.

"I do not condone lying to my sister," Oliver said flatly. "But if you can resolve the problem before it hits her perimeter, there's no reason she needs to know the details immediately. Barry, however, needs to know the details immediately."

Roy looked at Barry, visibly confused. Barry held his gaze. "You're marrying Thea and that makes you family. That means when you need help, I'm prepared to give it to you - for the right reasons. Give me a name so I can find the reasons, Roy."

"I'm not a snitch, I won't go to the cops," Roy blurted out.

"Good, 'cause we won't either," Barry replied. The eyebrow didn't work as well this time but they got a name.

"Drink your beer while my boyfriend plays with his toys. You like the new place?" Oliver asked Roy, tugging Barry's legs across his lap while he ran the search.

"Yeah, more extravagant than I thought Barry would agree to, but he's making himself comfortable. Are you guys in some kind of - "

"We're exploring our mutual interests. And if you think this place is fancy, you should see my new place in Central. It's got a jacuzzi," Barry said, passing the tablet with their first official target.

 

* * *

 

"I'm not sure I want all these strangers knowing what you can do," Oliver breathed into his collarbone, pinning Barry to the wall of their new command center.

"Cisco already knows and you agreed that I need to be proactive when it comes to my speed," Barry replied, pliant under his hands. "If we're doing this whole crime-fighting thing then we need backup."

"Maybe. We could probably knock out this low-rent gangster without hitting any radars," Oliver pouted.

"Where's the fun in that when friends have shiny tech to help?" Cisco asked, announcing his presence at the elevator. "It is my great pleasure to introduce, Felicity Smoak, who is totally not involved in anything ever."

Oliver scanned the chipper blond and forgot to release Barry from his private display of affection. "Don't you - "

"Not involved in anything ever and definitely not on your sister's payroll," she cut him off. "But I'm excited to see what Vibe here's got me tagged in for."

"Vibe?" Barry asked, with a fond look at Cisco. Oliver wasn't getting out of this now.

"I'll explain it while I'm kitting you out for the tests, come on," Cisco dragged him excitedly out of the hallway and left Oliver to vet their 'backup'.

"So he's a Meta that can run fast and needs to stay hidden, wow, you've got top tier tech around here," Felicity started, giddy as she started switching on Barry's requested consoles.

"I'm just the muscle, he's the one that thinks we need all this," Oliver admitted. "How do you know Cisco?"

"Well, I was working for a guy that I thought just had a robot kink and it turned into this whole thing with STAR Labs and dark magic and, well, I'm a reserve member of the research team," Felicity said.

"Robot kink guy doesn't work for Thea, does he?" Oliver processed.

"Nah, I quit my job when I started dating him, he's a shit boss," she shrugged. "Great boyfriend, but shitty boss. He doesn't let me tag in when he's flying around in his robot suit, so I'm totally curious as to what top-secret thing Vibe has for me."

Cisco returned and tapped several keys easily and the displays lit up to show Barry on an elaborate treadmill with a mesh shirt covered in electrodes. "That thing's not a toy, everyone make a note of it - the treadmill is not a toy."

"Noted. Can I try it out now?" Barry asked, giving a thumbs up onscreen.

"Recording baseline stats - start off slow," Cisco asked, bouncing on his heels as Barry planted his feet.

"Doesn't seem that fast - oh, okay, that's new," Felicity mapped aloud as Barry faded into a blur onscreen.

"He's so much faster than he was before," Cisco said, reaching over and minimizing several of the screens to hide the scrolling stats. Felicity frowned and gave him a hurt look.

"You said we could trust her," Oliver said when she turned her expression toward him.

"And we can - but these kind of numbers are unexpected, wow - like - okay, Barry, come here," Cisco said. The ozone hit his nose before Barry appeared by his side with lightning tracing across his skin.

"You're racking up a lot of high scores, are you still okay with me sharing with the class?" Cisco asked.

Barry tilted his head. "I thought that's why we were doing this."

"He says you're faster," Oliver offered.

"Oh. We'll have to redo all the scenarios," Barry realized.

"Scenarios?" Felicity and Cisco asked together.

"We calculated the timing of most security cameras, the refraction of light for the best angles," Oliver said. "He's really good at math."

Cisco opened up all the screens again. "In that case, get back behind the glass, Allen."

The peck on the lips was too quick for the others to see it but Oliver smiled at the tingle of lightning left behind.

"Top row shows his last known specs, before we closed his file," Cisco said.

"File's still closed, nobody's seeing anything here," Felicity said. "I'm definitely never telling my boyfriend because he's also very good at math and would probably geek out more than all of us over this."

"Any health notes other than having snacks and electrolytes ready?" Oliver asked.

"I don't know how his heart doesn't just give out," Felicity muttered.

Oliver shuddered and snapped his fingers. Barry darted to his side with a flurry of wind and melted rubber. "You rang, sir?"

"Tuned in, good job. Your heart's too fast," Oliver said, splaying his hand over his chest.

"It's keeping up with his speed," Cisco said. "But - you can regulate it?"

"Have to sync up to my bae in the shadows when he pulls the brake," Barry purred, his voice sputtering rhythmically as he slowed his systems down to match Oliver's pulse. "Tuned in."

"That's - okay. Now let's talk about those scenarios because - this is more than math," Felicity said.

Cisco raised his hand solemnly.

"What?" Oliver asked as Barry's vibrating finally slowed to stillness.

"Are you sure you guys want to stay solo?" Cisco asked.

"Safer this way. We can protect our cities, and the people we care about and nobody needs to know we exist," Barry said.

"Keep us as a last resort, at least until we settle into our real lives," Oliver said.

"We'll take it case by case. How's the heartbeat?" Barry asked, glancing at the monitors.

"Sniper steady," Felicity tapped her stylus against the monitor. "Do we need to put electrodes on you, Mr. Queen?"

"No thank you, Ms. Smoak," Oliver replied.

 

* * *

 

"I thought you said Iris was going to hate me," Oliver whispered when the golden sister had stepped away to refresh their drinks in Barry's new kitchen.

"She's luring you into a false sense of security," Barry whispered back, appreciating Joe's proud grin when he overheard.

They'd resolved Roy's problem on a scheduled Central weekend so there wouldn't be any chance of catching fallout since they had full plans with the Wests.

"If Bear chose this place to impress you, it's still a plus mark for your column," Joe said, motioning to the expansive balcony and prime view of downtown Central City.

"He doesn't have to impress me," Oliver said. "After everything that's happened, finding him was like finally coming home. Nothing made sense, but Barry always makes sense to me."

"Oh God," Barry groaned when Iris made mocking kissy faces at him from the doorway.

"At least he makes sense to someone," Iris said, sinking into the leather couch beside her father. "Eddie and Wally are still poking around your gym. You convinced Barry to lift any weights in there?"

Barry held up his hand. "How I get my exercise is TMI for this conversation. But I do have more, hopefully promising news to share."

"Do I need to take notes?" Iris joked.

"He has been in the celebrity pages lately," Joe pointed out.

Barry hadn't considered that his news probably would make some celebrity pages. Oliver smiled faintly, catching his twitch of realization.

"I got a job," he said. "Sort of." Oliver rolled his eyes and elbowed him. "I'm taking over the charity foundation that STAR Labs set up to help the victims of the Particle Accelerator."

"Oh, that's great, Bear - you still have stocks in that place, too, don't you?" Iris seemed genuinely happy for him but Joe didn't hide his surprise.

"Yeah. They're doing some exciting science over there, but I'm not ready for the lab," he said. Joe's face flashed with understanding - the man in yellow was a story that he'd never hear - but Barry had hinted enough about the aftermath of his coma that Joe had put the pieces together that it was a sore spot. "I want to help however I can."

"Eddie and I are on the metahuman task force so we end up over there a few times a week," Joe said.

"Oliver's making them give me an office so you'll have to bring me coffee when you come by," Barry replied. Joe grinned, pleased and wow, Barry missed that.

"I'm not making them do anything," Oliver muttered. "You said the lab gives you the creeps but you still want to hang out with the geeks. No offense to the geeks or anything."

Joe raised his beer in agreement.

"I need him to get the hang of the foundation so he can help if I decide to take over my sister's charity. I'm not as eager to rejoin the workforce," Oliver said.

Iris glanced between them. "So you're going to be around more often?"

"As often as he'll have me," Oliver said. "But I'll preemptively apologize for requesting his presence in Starling whenever he's free. We're co-parenting plants."

"Don't get excited, we need the plants to fail," Barry told Iris and Joe. "It's Thea's idea to get us back in Starling more than 50% of the time. She's threatening to get us a cat."

"Don't give them ideas, Bear," Oliver warned.

"Barry's a dog person anyway," Iris said absently.

 

* * *

 

"Mafia?" Roy asked, straining to see what Barry was doing on his tablet.

"Nope," Oliver answered. "We've been through this, prospective brother-in-law and you're not winning any points hassling my boyfriend when he's working."

"He's playing FreeCell," Roy countered. "And he - both of you - scared a major player in the Glades out of town."

"None of our business," Barry said. "Your hands are clean. They're clean, right, Roy?"

"Yeah. Thanks to you, I guess," he muttered.

"You're probably wondering how you can pay it forward," Oliver said. Barry glanced at him, curious.

"Okay, sure," Roy replied suspiciously.

"Take some classes, get some training and take point on Thea's security team," Oliver said.

Barry laughed out loud. "That's perfect. My boyfriend's so smart."

"Her company's been known to have some nefarious ties in the past thanks to our parents. She'll need someone she can trust to protect her," Oliver said, with a rude gesture in Barry's direction that only made him laugh harder. "You're a big guy, Barry says you can rumble if you have to."

"No, it's - yeah, I've been thinking about it, just priors and all that," Roy hesitated.

"We'll get Laurel on that once you enroll in some classes, your adult record's mainly misdemeanors and we've cleaned up worse," Oliver said.

"Still not mafia," Barry added.

 

**Author's Note:**

> *title from Dashboard Confessional
> 
> Thanks for coming along for the ride! I want to build more castles in this not!Mafia secret!vigilante sandbox at some point.


End file.
